Jul. 22nd, 2012 11:04 pm
magedragonfire: (Default)
[personal profile] magedragonfire
Hot damn, have I really not posted to this thing since January?

...As you might be able to surmise, I've been having problems of the not-writing persuasion lately. Between being plain ol' busy, general anxiety, and just losing the will to get started on just about anything, it's been like pulling teeth to sit down and bang out more than a couple of sentences at a time. I don't like it, but I also don't know what to do about it. :\

(Noting that once I get started, the writing usually goes okay for a bit, and that it definitely isn't the 'sit down' part that's been the issue. I do a lot of that - or had been doing a lot of that up 'til this month, but we'll get to that.)

Six months condensed: I worked. Played at Perrie and loved it, until the mods had life hit 'em and closed it. Subsequently joined Nightwatch and had so many plans - but this is where that whole 'not writing' thing really got bad. Neglected it profoundly. Found a couple of awesome Furc RPers, at the same time. Ended up overextending myself and neglected them, too, although at least that was mostly due to a lack of time.

Got flashes of inspiration again at NW; won the Weyrleader pair contest with Tawny. Went to New Zealand for a couple of weeks in May and had fun exploring there. Came back and promptly got laid off from my job. Spent a week dithering around wondering if I should apply to something or wait to see if I got into VCC's baking & pastry arts program. Got the call pretty much exactly a week later saying that I had a spot for July. My dad started bleeding out from the inside that same day (complications from a certain habit of his). He got better, at least.

Between stress from everything, I ended up further neglecting RPs and obligations; disappeared entirely from Nightwatch, and after I'd just got T'nar to that top spot - I felt awful about vanishing and that made me even more resolute to not go back, because how could I face people again? Thus ended up missing the closure of it from GiftnTua's leaving Pern fandom, much to my chagrin. :< (Although I do hope they are doing better.) I'm... unsure of whether or not I'll make any sort of official stab at Torkel, partially because of the above. I'd love to play with the rest of the crowd again, because they are awesome folks. But...

Honestly, I probably don't have the time right now anyway, aaaaas I started my pastry chef-ery course at the beginning of the month. It's kind of awkwardly placed, from 1pm-6:30, and held downtown, so there's about 45 minutes of travelling back and forth, too, so it just feels difficult to get anything done besides it. I mean, I've always been kind of bad at time management, but this is just seeming to make it worse.

Something I have to fix, if I really want to go into professional baking.

We've had theory and demonstrations about quick breads and pies and puff pastry these past few weeks. Been doing reasonably well - excellently in the theory component, anyway. I'm not positively sure, but I think our demonstration-marks have been averaged across the whole class; they're okay, but not what I was expecting.

Tomorrow's the big shift change - we start the 'for reals' bit, a month where we rotate through various production stations, making everything again on our own to stock the bakeshop in the college. We'll see how that goes. I'm on quick breads/muffins this week - which is easy in terms of the baking itself, but is apparently the most difficult because our station also has to tend the ovens. Our instructor put me as the leader of the group, and has said that she'll be helping us out this week to show everyone how the flow should be going. Not sure if this is a vote of confidence because of the former, or not, because of the latter. Guess we'll see how it goes.

Other neat things that happened since Feb - finally played a proper couple of sessions of a tabletop game (Pathfinder with a group of friends from SFU, seems quite fun - except it's kind of stalled for the moment since everyone seems to have had a shift in schedule and availability), and played through and beat all three of the Mass Effect games. Just finished the third today, actually, and now there is suddenly a giant Shepard-shaped hole in my life.

Still not entirely sure which ending I'm going to consider canon for Thea. 'Blue' makes the most sense, character-wise - and she would be a goddamn awesome sentient benevolent goddess figure, if I do say so myself - but I hate some of the implications and repercussions of it. I like 'green' only because of the good ship Joker/EDI. 'Red' holds out hope for what I really want Thea's life to be like after the war, but EDI and the geth. :< And yes, I did pretty much manage a 'perfect' run, without spoiling myself or guides or anything. Nobody died on the Normandy's crew other than those whose deaths couldn't be avoided (thaaaaaane why). The rachni weren't wiped out. The council survived. The krogan genophage was cured without losing Bakara. The quarians and the geth both survived (up until 'red' anyway) and found peace. And, gdi, Kaiden is the best romance option and gives me all the wibbly feelings. And also the only one I pursued, so perhaps I am biased. We'll see what happens with the next Shep, I guess.

Finishing ME also makes me really want to play at Peregrine again, but alas, the impossibility of it without the awesome admin-folk. It would never be the same.

...But of course, since that's an impossibility, and now that I have no time, I've been struck with ideas for a Weyr Of My Own. Again. And I think the foundational idea I have for it is both pretty solid and absolutely feasible, unlike the Eternal Forest of years and years ago. It needs refinement, of course, but that's not what the hard part would be. The difficult bit would be the administration of it; I don't think I could run a decent Weyr by myself these days, especially with my limited time and occasional shut-offs with regards to RP. I definitely know there's no way I could handle running full Hatchings of the style I most adore, because I pound out character profiles too slowly.

Of course, I could always just jot everything down and keep it non-public until I do have time, or can find someone to help me with it. I think I'll see how this week goes with school and then decide what I'm going to do.

Aaaaand with that, I should probably get to my 'homework', such that it is. I think the most valuable thing I might get out of this course might actually be time management skills, with the amount of planning ahead we have to do. I kind of hope so, anyway, because damn do I need the help with that.
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