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Jan. 5th, 2011 07:44 pmHnnng. So much unwanting to write.
Christmas was pretty good, not getting shopping done 'til the 23rd aside (and not getting baking done 'til the afternoon on the 24th, but whatever). I got entirely too much stuff. ...Not that I'm looking to get rid of any of it, or anything.
( Obligatory list )
Trav really spoiled me with that second-to-last one. The only problem with getting a new system is that now there's suddenly this whole new library I have to pay attention to.
Funnily, I didn't get any socks (that weren't in DIY format). I could've used a pair or two, but I guess I can afford to buy myself socks now.
My job at Linmark came and went pretty smoothly. It's always nice going back there, seeing the gals again. Paycheque's pretty nice, too. It's just a pity they're so small outside of the busy season. I guess that means I should be back looking for another job, which I am nooooot looking forward to. It's either that or tear my hair out becoming frustrated by housewifely things again... Except not really, since we do need the money. Hoping to maybe stop renting some time within the next year or two.
...It's really just a matter of dragging myself out of this pit I've been in. I'm not exactly get-up-and-go at the best of times, but basically since this summer, I've had no motivation or passion for anything.
There's been things I've been thinking about doing for months now, but whenever I attempt them, I just... don't end up doing anything. Been wanting to get a character commission, but can't be arsed to ask the artist I want. Been wanting to complete profiles on the RP Repository for a few characters, but can't get the words out. Been wanting to check out a few RP sites I've been linked, but steadfastly ignore the URLs sitting in my inbox. Hell, I've been brushing off folks on Furcadia even though I do want to roleplay - I just don't know what the fuck I want to write. Frankly, I'm amazed I've managed to write this much so far on this stupid blog post.
It's not even a case of simple writer's block, either. Want to knit my sweater. Can't be bothered to look at it. Want to clean my dresser off and get it organized. Easier to turn a blind eye. Even just basic household shit - getting off my ass to get groceries, or cleaning the bathroom, or doing dishes - seems like pulling teeth. I can't get anything done before noon. Days when I manage to get one simple thing done seem like a victory, 'less-bad' days. Days where I sit around and basically accomplish nothing are far more common, even though I get frustrated, even though I beat myself up over it, even though I'm not trying to do anything out of the ordinary or difficult.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't seem to have any answers for myself. I'm lonely, and at the same time wanting to shun everyone and everything. It's...
Pfeh. It's frustrating, is what it is.
Christmas was pretty good, not getting shopping done 'til the 23rd aside (and not getting baking done 'til the afternoon on the 24th, but whatever). I got entirely too much stuff. ...Not that I'm looking to get rid of any of it, or anything.
( Obligatory list )
Trav really spoiled me with that second-to-last one. The only problem with getting a new system is that now there's suddenly this whole new library I have to pay attention to.
Funnily, I didn't get any socks (that weren't in DIY format). I could've used a pair or two, but I guess I can afford to buy myself socks now.
My job at Linmark came and went pretty smoothly. It's always nice going back there, seeing the gals again. Paycheque's pretty nice, too. It's just a pity they're so small outside of the busy season. I guess that means I should be back looking for another job, which I am nooooot looking forward to. It's either that or tear my hair out becoming frustrated by housewifely things again... Except not really, since we do need the money. Hoping to maybe stop renting some time within the next year or two.
...It's really just a matter of dragging myself out of this pit I've been in. I'm not exactly get-up-and-go at the best of times, but basically since this summer, I've had no motivation or passion for anything.
There's been things I've been thinking about doing for months now, but whenever I attempt them, I just... don't end up doing anything. Been wanting to get a character commission, but can't be arsed to ask the artist I want. Been wanting to complete profiles on the RP Repository for a few characters, but can't get the words out. Been wanting to check out a few RP sites I've been linked, but steadfastly ignore the URLs sitting in my inbox. Hell, I've been brushing off folks on Furcadia even though I do want to roleplay - I just don't know what the fuck I want to write. Frankly, I'm amazed I've managed to write this much so far on this stupid blog post.
It's not even a case of simple writer's block, either. Want to knit my sweater. Can't be bothered to look at it. Want to clean my dresser off and get it organized. Easier to turn a blind eye. Even just basic household shit - getting off my ass to get groceries, or cleaning the bathroom, or doing dishes - seems like pulling teeth. I can't get anything done before noon. Days when I manage to get one simple thing done seem like a victory, 'less-bad' days. Days where I sit around and basically accomplish nothing are far more common, even though I get frustrated, even though I beat myself up over it, even though I'm not trying to do anything out of the ordinary or difficult.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't seem to have any answers for myself. I'm lonely, and at the same time wanting to shun everyone and everything. It's...
Pfeh. It's frustrating, is what it is.
