magedragonfire

So everyone knows that song meme that's been going around the past few days - shuffle your playlist, put down your favorite lines of lyrics from the next 25 songs that play, and your friends guess what the song titles and/or artists are until you hopefully maybe have something of a comprehensive crossed out list left.

Well, I've done that before, and that's boring, so here's what we're gonna do:

25 songs. They're all by the same artist. You probably know who he is. He's rather famous for silly songs about everything, most of them parodies of chart-topping hits. Also a preoccupation with polka. Anyways. I post lyrics, you tell me a) the name of the song, and one of b) the singer and song name that he's parodizing. If it's one of his originals, just the song name will do~

Here, have some lyrics!

1. ~~I'm jammin' gears and haulin' freight / well, I sure hope my seams are straight / Lord, don't let my mascara run tonight~~ [

theguindo - "Truck Drivin' Song"]

2. ~~She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"~~ [

palmer_kun - "Albuquerque"]

3. ~~Yah, he calls the shots, we really love him lots / Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz~~ [

theguindo - "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi", parody of The Offspring's "Pretty Fly for a White Guy"]

4. ~~The pavement cracks when I fall down / I've got more chins than Chinatown~~ [

palmer_kun - "Fat", parody of Michael Jackson's "Bad"]

5. You're half undressed / Eating chips off your chest / While you're playin' Halo 2

6. "CSI: Boise" and "Touched By An Uncle" both sound pretty lame 'n' / So does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond" / And "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute / I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it

7. ~~I really don't care, in fact I wish him well / 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell~~ [

palmer_kun - "Amish Paradise", parody of Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise"]

8. ~~We can dodge debris while we trim the tree / Underneath the mushroom cloud~~ [

palmer_kun - "Christmas at Ground Zero"]

9. ~~Or tie me to a chair / And kick me down the stairs / Just please don't play that stupid song no more~~ [

draksila - "Achy Breaky Song", parody of Billy Ray Cyrus' "Achy Breaky Heart"]

10. ~~Five days since they had the show / With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho~~ [

palmer_kun - "Jerry Springer", parody of Barenaked Ladies' "One Week"]

11. I'm givin' up, it's just no use / Another case of spud abuse

12. ~~It's hard to bargle nawdle zouss / With all these marbles in my mouth~~ [

theguindo - "Smells Like Nirvana", parody of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit"]

13. ~~Walk real funny, bless my soul / Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl / You can't even do the splits now... Say it!~~ [

draksila - "Living With a Hernia", parody of James Brown's "Living in America"]

14. I honestly can say you're an above-average lady / You're almost just what I've been looking for

15. What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose / And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes / And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?

16. Well, I used to live on chocolate sauce / Made sumo wrestlers look like Kate Moss

17. ~~They treat curling just like it's a real sport / They think their silly accent is so cute / Can't understand a thing they're talkin' aboot~~ (OMG it was hard to pick lines out of this song; it's pure awesome~) [

theguindo - "Canadian Idiot", parody of Green Day's "American Idiot"]

18. Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true. / Where was I? (*gigglesnort*} [

palmer_kun - "That's Your Horoscope For Today"]

19. ~~And when he finally came to / He found that Mr. Happy was missing / He couldn't quite explain it / It'd always just been there~~ [

draksila - "Headline News", parody of the Crash Test Dummies' "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"]

20. ~~Shove an icepick under a toenail or two / I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue~~ [

draksila - "One More Minute"]

21. Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra / Doing in my underwear drawer?

22. ~~Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen / Though he's just nine and she's fourteen / Yeah, he's probably gonna marry her someday~~ [

palmer_kun - "The Saga Begins", parody of Don McLean's "American Pie"]

23. Everytime I shake your hand now / Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth

24. ~~And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye, / "Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"~~ [

palmer_kun - "The Night Santa Went Crazy"]

25. And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you're a midget / I'm so sorry Debbie - I mean Bridget