magedragonfire | (no subject)

Hnnng. So much unwanting to write.

Christmas was pretty good, not getting shopping done 'til the 23rd aside (and not getting baking done 'til the afternoon on the 24th, but whatever). I got entirely too much stuff. ...Not that I'm looking to get rid of any of it, or anything.

Included in the pile:
-Three shirts, a sweater, and a comfy pair of PJ pants
-Two shiny scarves
-Two coats (a peacoat and a more sporty and rainproof one)
-Bath towels and a couple tea-towels
-How to Be A Canadian, Yarn, and the Silver Mage for reading material, plus a book with a whole bunch of sock patterns in it. Also, a Chapters gift card, so eventually, more books.
-Chocolates galore (plus some chocolate martini mix)
-Whole buncha bath stuff - Christmas is pretty much the 'let's stock up on toiletries!' time of year, and now our basket of soaps and lotions is more than overflowing.
-A pretty china teapot and teacups with cherry blossoms on
-An Amore&Baci bracelet, with a few beads (dragon, panda, and a blue-and-white Swarovski crystal round one) to put on
-A giftcard towards a new purse/bag
-A toiletries/overnight bag thing
-Egyptian/Turkish/Lebanese music CD and a coin belt
-The complete collection of some anime called Noein. Never heard of it, but I'll try anything once.
-Prof Layton and the Unwound Future (omg sob), Golden Sun: Dark Dawn, Kirby's Epic Yarn
-An Xbox360 + Kinect, with Bayonetta to go with (and a booklet of massage coupons)
-Annnnd some money that I'm likely to turn into DKCR and Lufia.

Trav really spoiled me with that second-to-last one. The only problem with getting a new system is that now there's suddenly this whole new library I have to pay attention to.

Funnily, I didn't get any socks (that weren't in DIY format). I could've used a pair or two, but I guess I can afford to buy myself socks now.

My job at Linmark came and went pretty smoothly. It's always nice going back there, seeing the gals again. Paycheque's pretty nice, too. It's just a pity they're so small outside of the busy season. I guess that means I should be back looking for another job, which I am nooooot looking forward to. It's either that or tear my hair out becoming frustrated by housewifely things again... Except not really, since we do need the money. Hoping to maybe stop renting some time within the next year or two.

...It's really just a matter of dragging myself out of this pit I've been in. I'm not exactly get-up-and-go at the best of times, but basically since this summer, I've had no motivation or passion for anything.

There's been things I've been thinking about doing for months now, but whenever I attempt them, I just... don't end up doing anything. Been wanting to get a character commission, but can't be arsed to ask the artist I want. Been wanting to complete profiles on the RP Repository for a few characters, but can't get the words out. Been wanting to check out a few RP sites I've been linked, but steadfastly ignore the URLs sitting in my inbox. Hell, I've been brushing off folks on Furcadia even though I do want to roleplay - I just don't know what the fuck I want to write. Frankly, I'm amazed I've managed to write this much so far on this stupid blog post.

It's not even a case of simple writer's block, either. Want to knit my sweater. Can't be bothered to look at it. Want to clean my dresser off and get it organized. Easier to turn a blind eye. Even just basic household shit - getting off my ass to get groceries, or cleaning the bathroom, or doing dishes - seems like pulling teeth. I can't get anything done before noon. Days when I manage to get one simple thing done seem like a victory, 'less-bad' days. Days where I sit around and basically accomplish nothing are far more common, even though I get frustrated, even though I beat myself up over it, even though I'm not trying to do anything out of the ordinary or difficult.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't seem to have any answers for myself. I'm lonely, and at the same time wanting to shun everyone and everything. It's...

Pfeh. It's frustrating, is what it is.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've been feeling pretty burnt out the past couple of months too. I keep hoping it will pass, but at the same time I am cutting myself some serious slack. You should do the same for yourself. Menial tasks like cleaning the bathroom and food shopping are totally overrated anyway.

I'm not even sure it's being burnt out, honestly. I've been burnt out before, and this feels different. I have been doing some cutting of slack - like I say, days where I accomplish something, even some little thing, feel like good days now, whereas at the beginning of this I probably would've beat myself up for not doing even more.

...But I like eating food and it's hard to eat food when there's no food in the house because food was not bought. ;.;

Thank you for the books, though! Maybe that Altadorian Verbage will help get my writing back on track.

.....!!!

Lufia came out and I missed it? NOOOO.

KH: Re: Coded comes out monday, amd I need to get that ASAP, but Lufia's gotta be the game I finish after that!

I am sorry, though, that you're in a funk =\ I'd been in one for a bit myself December, but being here in Disney World has kind of changed that (surprising, I know), That being said, I hope you get out of it soon =( Funks are no good!

Enjoy all your presents ♥

In October, man.

I've heard that Re:Coded isn't worth the time, but it's not like I've played a KH game since 2 anyways (and still haven't beat that one, eheh).

Thanks, though. It really is no good. Today was one of the bad days. :\

As silly as this sounds...

have you tried singing to yourself? I find that I handle depression best that way, amazingly enough. Not saying you -are- deepressed (fuks don't mean depression!), but the cure might work the same? Basically, whenevr I feel down, I just start singing to myself... usually sad songs cause that's what cheers me up.

.....and yeah, october. AUGH. Last I heard there wasn't even an NA estimate, and it came out in october, how did I MISS that >_