CRUISE CONTROL... yeah, you know

SO GUYS

I HAVE THREE LAYERS OF HOME-MADE DEVIL'S FOOD CAKE

MY BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW

I HAVE MANY INGREDIENTS WITH WHICH TO DECORATE THIS CAKE

I COULD MAKE A HAZELNUT CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE HAZELNUT GANACHE AND HAZELNUT WHIPPED CREAM

OR I COULD MAKE A PORTAL CAKE

MINUS FISH-SHAPED FISH AND TWO TABLESPOONS RHUBARB, ON FIRE, AMONG OTHER THINGS

(and yes, he would get it, and possibly his friends would, too)

HAZELNUTS OF TRUTH, OR CHOCOLATE-CHERRY LIES?